I am not a Resolutionist!!!!

My boys came back from the gym several days ago. Per our usual routine, I asked how the gym was, did they have a good workout – usual stuff.  I haven’t been to the gym in about a week, because I have been so stinking tired, and drained. Hence my need to ask how their gym experience was.  I figure I might vicariously get some “gains” just by asking.


The boys said the gym was packed to the gills with “Resolutionists”. They said the “Resolutionists” are the people who resolve to exercise and get fit in the coming New Year. It seems there is a pattern to this, it happens every single year. Over the last several days, every exercise machine has taken and the free weight section was overflowing with people who didn’t have a clue as to what they were doing.  However they reassured me, by saying “Not to worry”, the crowds will slowly diminish. They figure by about January 15th everything will back to normal, and the people who are really serious about improving their fitness will be the only ones left.

I listened to all of this and thought to myself, “Oooo – I don’t want to be branded as a Resolutionist” and so this year I am going to make some really achievable and reality-based resolutions, and not really resolutions but more improvements to the way I do things. Here are my seemingly simple but hopefully achievable goals – a list of 10 (10 being the most significant goal for me this year).

♦Be a little more enthusiastic about marketing my book. I really don’t know why I am not more interested in doing this, other things seem to take priority, like cleaning the plantation blinds, ridding the baseboards of dust, putting my knowledge of organic chemistry into action in trying to alleviate my glass shower doors of hard water spots – stuff like that.


♦Learn to spell occaission, ocaission, occasion. Why is this such a hard word to spell when I have no trouble spelling words such as obsequious, persiflage, or pestiferous?

♦Pick things up off the floor when I see them, not just walk by and think I will come back later and do it (or here’s a silly thought – somebody else might see the errant object and remove it – I am presently guffawing to myself).

♦Fold the clothes in the dryer as soon as the dryer plays its little song (and again not counting on somebody else doing it). Not wait for a day or two and then be surprised because everything is wrinkled.

folding laundry humor

♦Write the debit charges into my checking ledger, instead of waiting until I have three lunch bags full of slips and feeling completely overwhelmed by the enormity of tackling such a task (I have discovered the online balance is not always the right balance, it was quite a shocking realization).

debit slips

♦Leave the toilet seat up in deference to the male members of my family (I am, after all, the only female in the house – well, besides Shirley the Turtle. I can’t say I have ever seen her try to use the toilet.)

turle on toilet

♦Say No – maybe sometimes say No, even when I think the person I am saying No to might get irritated or stomp away, slam doors, and mutter things under their breath.

say No

♦Empty the kitchen garbage can when the lid no longer sits properly on top, and not try my hand at being a garbage compressor, or attempt to balance a final item on the overflowing pile.


♦Be 5 minutes early for everything (my Dad should get a chuckle out of this one).


♦Avoid getting bleach splotches on my clothes for an entire year (this I suspect will be the hardest goal for me to attain – but I am willing to give it a try.)


That’s enough of a list for now. After re-reading this, I am quite worn out.  I think it is a do-able list.  We shall see.  I will revisit this list at the end of the year and see how well I did (if I remember).


Photo credits:

Turtle – dornob.com

Resolutionist – forum.bodybuilding.com

Garbage can – 8-ballorg.com

Clock – colourbox.com

Say No – datesafeproject.com

Laundry Humor – momwitha.com

27 replies »

    • They say Karma will come back to get you. I remember as a kid my Mum would get quite irritated with us for never picking stuff up off the floor – and now I see why!!!!!

  1. I guess so many people did not learn how to pick up after themselves. If I were you, when one of your boys walks past something on the floor tell him to pick it up and not pretend it’s not there. That way you’ll all get into the habit and you are not the only one doing the picking up 🙂
    Market your book like crazy! It is worth it. I’ll help you! Maybe we could do an interview or something some day after all the review is already done. Don’t be shy about it. 🙂
    Have a very happy new year.

    • Hi Solveig. I am just as guilty as my boys and everyone else in my house for just walking past something, and thinking I will get it later. They are not big things, just like a leaf brought in by the dogs, or fluff from a disemboweled dog toy. Actually, if truth be told, our house is incredibly tidy, but I am a bit of a neat freak and so nothing can be out of place.
      You have helped so much with my book already, with the interview and tweeting about it. You are so kind. My sons are after me to push the book too, they actually get quite exasperated with me because I don’t do more with it.
      Hope your New Year is off to a good start.

      • Too many “c”s not enough “s”s! No idea but that word always gets underlined by my spell check.

        Unfortunately, the holidays were an end to all my good weight loss work and I’m sure that the huge amounts of food and booze have piled the pounds back on. Oh well, back to the beginning again! It was a great time though.

        I hope you and yours had a brilliant time.

      • We did thank-you. Now the boys are bigger, it is not such a present lollapalooza, thank goodness for that. What with the enormous grocery bills, I don’t think our wallets could manage the gift extravaganzas like we used to. Funny thing is, their favorite gifts this year were a set of fancy fry pans, spatulas and a food scale. Go figure.

  2. Things on the floor? Uh? We only have dog biscuits and dog toys. Do children really leave things on the floor? Teenagers?

    Don’t put things in the dryer. Saves on electricity too.

    Leave the toilet seat up? Jeez. Why don’t you all make it gender neutral and put the lid down? Great way to instill male superiority into young men … 🙁

    • We have dog toys on our floor, and parts of disemboweled dog toys as well. As far as the dryer, don’t really have anywhere to hang stuff up to dry, unless I want the house to look like a Laundromat.
      As far as the toilet seat, it isn’t really about instilling male superiority into my boys (which I have spent their lives minimizing), it is really about recognizing their weaknesses, and it is a small price to pay for having not to sit in partially dried urine on the toilet seat, because they won’t lift the toilet seat. It is really a win-win situation. I am ensured a clean toilet seat (as is Shirley – the turtle, if she ever decides to use it) and the boys aren’t required to think.

      • Are you serious? Your boys aren’t required to think? Their weaknesses? My partner (nearly 60) grew up learning to pick up the lid and the seat. He did not pee on the seat. Or the floor. He still doesn’t.

        Why shouldn’t your boys learn to do the same? Shared toilets need to be respected. That means leaving it clean and tidy for everyone. It’s not a male domain.

        What happens when they live with a woman?

  3. Love it. I’m probably not about to bump into any ‘resolutionists’ let aloe be branded one, as I can’t imagine getting to the gym for several weeks! I bet they’ll all be gone by then, bar a few..

  4. I think that’s how it goes with church, too. Packed to the gills the first two or three Sundays, then attendance drops off.

    Good luck with your goals! The laundry one is at the top of my list, too.

    • Thanks Sheila. Of course you can adopt my list, and if you have anything to add, feel free. Here’s to a year without failed resolutions!!!!!!!

  5. Hi!
    You’re a really funny writer. I know a lot of people here.
    Cornflakes to eternity…
    Lots of smiles as I looked around. Thanks for that.
    Thanks as well for your visit to my site today. Still Tuesday in California.

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