A most alarming epidemic is unfolding and I am not sure what to do about it. But I am so frustrated about it, I want to scream. I see its ugly head popping up everywhere I go, even at work. Throngs of glassy-eyed people, wandering around with their heads down, one arm held up, and staring intently at a little tiny rectangular object in their hands. I am tired of dodging these people. I am tired of their unfounded assumptions that I will move out of the way of them, so they can bumble along, not looking where they are going.
Of course, I am talking about the cell-phone staring walkers, or maybe I should call them CP Zombies (Cell Phone Zombies). I have to avoid them in the stores, on the roads and in the hallways of the hospital. I have seen these CP Zombies accidentally walk off curbs, trip down stairs and walk into traffic. I have even seen it in the gym – people will monopolize a piece of equipment while staring at their phone. These people are not attuned to their surroundings and just amble along slowly (or sit – in the case of the gym-goers), not paying attention. I think this might really become, or perhaps it already has, become a public safety issue. (Below is a couple of articles to support my point)
Is anyone else concerned about this? And what exactly is it these CP Zombies are so intently studying?
I do not know.
I must devise a weapon. At first I thought I would design some kind of zapper that would blast it out of their hands. But then I thought that might incur the wrath of a multitude of people, and maybe have legal ramifications, or maybe I would get clobbered by angry CP Zombies. Then I had visions of angry CP Zombies chasing after me with their phones held high in one hand, screaming obscenities at me. Then I decided I would come up with something not quite so obvious. Or have some kind of weapon that sent a net out and grabbed the phone out of their hands, like Spiderman with his web, but that might result in a throng of CP Zombies chasing after me as well. Perhaps an application that sent out a signal to interrupt their internet connection. But then I would be no better than the CP Zombies, because I would constantly be looking down at my phone, trying to find the app, in order to blast the CP Zombies back to reality. So, that’s not going to work either.
I decided the best thing is a clicker. An Anti-CP Zombie Clicker. Something small enough to be kept in a pocket, or perhaps on a key chain. This clicker would emit a tiny electromagnetic pulse that would momentarily disarm the CP Zombie’s phone, long enough for them to look up and see where they are going. I think this might actually work. I need to go away and ponder this a bit more. If anyone has any input or design ideas, please comment below.
Something has to be done though, I cannot take this any longer!
Categories: Modern Living