Site icon S.D. Gates

B – Boy, Am I Out of Shape


As part of my weight loss journey, I need a plan for exercise.  I can’t just starve myself, because frankly I am not a nice person when I am extremely hungry and feel restricted.  Therefore, I am going to have to exercise.  And really that is not such a horrible thing, exercising.  I used to love it and exercised religiously in some form or another.

My boys are bodybuilders and both have their Personal Trainer certificates.  They think I should get in the gym and lift weights.  I tried that, and although I did see some results (I have massive biceps under all this arm fat), weight-training is not something that I really enjoy.  And being middle-aged, and dumpy, the young exercisers always kind of look down their noses and smile patronizingly, “Oh look at  that Mom, isn’t she so cute, trying to weight lift and all.”

Running is not an option, because I just don’t enjoy it enough to do it multiple times a week, or even multiple times a year.  I love walking, but I walk all day, and you see where that has gotten me.  Nowhere, I have managed to gain 40 pounds by walking at work.  Treadmills, Ellipticals and Exercise Bicycles hold no appeal for me, I get bored and hate every minute that I am on them.

Yoga doesn’t appeal to me because first I would have to put on a yoga outfit of some type, the people in the class would wonder about the Heffalump in the room, and honestly, just between me and you, I am not sure all the sphincters are controlled well enough to prevent unexpected explosive eruptions while doing strange poses.  Enough said on that subject.  Oh, and I would have to show up on time – which is not one of my strongest suits.

So…I chose swimming.  I love swimming.  I love the water, I love the feeling of being weightless.  I did a little research on swimming yesterday and discovered some interesting facts.  People that swim on a regular basis, are physiologically 20 years younger than their chronological age.  Yay! I need that.  Swimming also doesn’t put any undue strain on your joints.  And if one were to swim aggressively for an hour, they could burn about 700 calories. Of course, there is a down side to all of this, and that is one must don a swimsuit to swim, and in the situation I am in right now, that is not something I really want to do at all.

There is also the whole “muscle memory” thing.  I used to be an exceptionally strong swimmer and had the physique to prove it. Even after college, I swam while stationed at the Air Force Academy.  They had three beautiful pools, so I had my choice of pools to swim in.  I swam every day I wasn’t working and got in really good shape.  Now, I haven’t swam for exercise in over 20 years.  But based on the theory of muscle memory, which is the development of neural pathways from repeatedly doing the same action over and over, I should still be good at it,  but of course will have to build back my endurance.  We shall see.

Now the big question of the day, is do I have a swimsuit that fits?

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