B – Boy, Am I Out of Shape


As part of my weight loss journey, I need a plan for exercise.  I can’t just starve myself, because frankly I am not a nice person when I am extremely hungry and feel restricted.  Therefore, I am going to have to exercise.  And really that is not such a horrible thing, exercising.  I used to love it and exercised religiously in some form or another.

My boys are bodybuilders and both have their Personal Trainer certificates.  They think I should get in the gym and lift weights.  I tried that, and although I did see some results (I have massive biceps under all this arm fat), weight-training is not something that I really enjoy.  And being middle-aged, and dumpy, the young exercisers always kind of look down their noses and smile patronizingly, “Oh look at  that Mom, isn’t she so cute, trying to weight lift and all.”

Running is not an option, because I just don’t enjoy it enough to do it multiple times a week, or even multiple times a year.  I love walking, but I walk all day, and you see where that has gotten me.  Nowhere, I have managed to gain 40 pounds by walking at work.  Treadmills, Ellipticals and Exercise Bicycles hold no appeal for me, I get bored and hate every minute that I am on them.

Yoga doesn’t appeal to me because first I would have to put on a yoga outfit of some type, the people in the class would wonder about the Heffalump in the room, and honestly, just between me and you, I am not sure all the sphincters are controlled well enough to prevent unexpected explosive eruptions while doing strange poses.  Enough said on that subject.  Oh, and I would have to show up on time – which is not one of my strongest suits.

So…I chose swimming.  I love swimming.  I love the water, I love the feeling of being weightless.  I did a little research on swimming yesterday and discovered some interesting facts.  People that swim on a regular basis, are physiologically 20 years younger than their chronological age.  Yay! I need that.  Swimming also doesn’t put any undue strain on your joints.  And if one were to swim aggressively for an hour, they could burn about 700 calories. Of course, there is a down side to all of this, and that is one must don a swimsuit to swim, and in the situation I am in right now, that is not something I really want to do at all.

There is also the whole “muscle memory” thing.  I used to be an exceptionally strong swimmer and had the physique to prove it. Even after college, I swam while stationed at the Air Force Academy.  They had three beautiful pools, so I had my choice of pools to swim in.  I swam every day I wasn’t working and got in really good shape.  Now, I haven’t swam for exercise in over 20 years.  But based on the theory of muscle memory, which is the development of neural pathways from repeatedly doing the same action over and over, I should still be good at it,  but of course will have to build back my endurance.  We shall see.

Now the big question of the day, is do I have a swimsuit that fits?

Photo credit: veryfunnypics.eu


23 replies »

  1. Hi there. I can identify with a lot of what you say in this post. I too need to get back into shape but I find the spinning bike boring and those workouts where you do different things like marching, squatting, running in place and the like, though they add a bit of variety and are a little better, I still don’t enjoy those that much either.

    When I was a teenager I used to swim laps in our pool at home and I loved it. When I exercise, I also like the feeling of movement through the environment which is why I enjoy walking but I don’t have anyone to do that with.

    We’re getting a pool put in which I think I posted a little bit about on my blog so I’m hoping when that’s finished, I can get back into swimming too. I don’t like swimming in public pools because I either run into people or I think they’re watching my dumb technique, which probably isn’t true but why have a self-conscious feeling when you’re trying to get into shape?

    The endurance issue is one that I’ll have to overcome but I believe that will just happen with practice, I’m hoping anyway.

    I’m looking forward to reading tomorrow’s post.

    • I really love swimming. It was just a matter of getting over the dread of putting on a suit and going to the gym. That is great that you guys are getting a pool. We have one at our house, but it never really warms up, which is a mystery to me when we have weeks of 100 degree weather in the summer. And our pool is a weird shape, so I can do three whole strokes and be at the other end.

  2. Swimming is the way. No strain on joints and it won’t take long to build up endurance. My daughter swims regularly and it works wonders for her stamina in the other sports she does, hockey and netball. Go for it but dont starve yourself.

    • As it is my boys tell me I don’t eat enough, they eat 6 times a day, but it is baked chicken and brown rice, except when I cook their dinners. No starving will be done here. I have given up everything white, so no bread, sugar, pasta or potatoes. It sucks but it must be done. They say the first 2 weeks are the hardest, so we shall see.

  3. Treat yourself to a new swimsuit in keeping with the new regimen. Have fun while you’re getting all svelt and I hope you won’t be too posh to talk to us afterwards.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    • Hi David, actually I found one in my dresser. Honestly I don’t think I could stand the thought of seeing myself in a 3 way mirror with a swimming suit on. Eek! Thanks for the words of encouragement!!!!

  4. This made me laugh. I feel a little orangutangy myself. Ha ha. But I don’t like swimming either. I’m doomed. *Sigh* It’s going to have to be the treadmill or old Jane Fonda videos with leg warmers and headbands. Lol.

  5. Good for you! Exercise is great for so much more than weight control…I work out at home and use a bunch of different streaming services, so I can have variety and do whatever I feel like that day. If you want to try yoga, for example, you can do it in your living room completely by yourself. I’d start with one of the major teachers with beginner’s videos, like Rodney Yee or Kristin McGee (didn’t mean to make that rhyme!). I love Gaia.com, but get the basics first!

    OH and Yoga Zone, which has really good basics. I think you can stream those on YouTube.

    You can also get “channels” for exercise from Amazon, like BeFit or Acacia. It’s like having a never-ending supply of DVDs.

    Ugh. I’m a little bit of a zealot with this!

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