E – Edgy and Exhausted

overflowing laundry

When I decided to do my A-Z Blogging Challenge on my weight loss journey, I thought I would write  really honest type journal entries of my first 30 days into my weight loss program.  I wanted to write about how every step of this process made me feel, what my thoughts and concerns were as I proceeded along.  After receiving a rather terse comment yesterday, I wonder if people are thinking I am a bit whiney about all of this, and perhaps they are thinking “well you got yourself into this situation – do something about it and don’t whine.”  The comment has bothered me all day.

In addition to the comment, I have managed to contract some weird virus, that has left me exhausted, unable to eat, with a fever, body aches and just general malaise.  This always seems to happen to me, when I change my diet and activity level.  I developed Mononucleosis after starting a diet back in the 90s, and came back positive for Parvovirus on top of that.  I thought only dogs got Parvovirus, but according to my physician at the time, humans can too. In the 80s, when trying to lose some weight, while in the Navy, I came down with Rubella, which is no fun when you are an adult, and ended up in the hospital. Needless to say, I am always a bit leery in going full bore on a weight-loss program.

But I am not giving up, this is just a bump in the road.  Maybe I am not eating enough calories.  My kids say I need to eat more protein, and they are probably right.

As far as the honesty goes, I have read so many “Before and After” articles on the web, in People magazine, where hugely obese people suddenly decide one day, they are going to lose weight.  After years and years of not exercising and eating right, they cut out all fat, carbohydrates, start walking and end up in the gym weight-training and then they become Personal Trainers, and they look beautiful and thin – and it all seems so easy.  No setbacks, no feelings of helplessness or hopelessness about not being able to lose weight – they just do it. Or there are people like Mama June who plunks down $75,000, undergoes a gastric sleeve procedure, hires a personal trainer, gets another surgery to have all the excess skin cut off, has a tummy tuck and Voila – she is perfectly thin and a Size 4. And then there are the celebrities, who hire personal trainers and chefs and after having gained a gazillion pounds during a pregnancy, they are “Red Carpet ready” in 4 months and a Size 0. None of that is going to happen here. 

I am a real person, with a full-time job, a limited income, and lots of extra responsibilities.  When I decided to start all of this, my family said “You must go to the gym, you must eat ‘gain meals’ and drink 50 million gallons of water a day.”  And I said “How is all the stuff going to get done at the house?” and they said “Oh, it will get done, don’t worry”, so I didn’t.  Silly me, I thought everyone was going to step up and pitch in, but it turns out all the extra stuff gets done after I come home from the gym, which makes for a very long day.  So, yes, I am a little edgy and exhausted.  Welcome to the life of a real person trying to lose weight, and fit exercising in.  I think I am entitled to be a bit whiney, and if a reader feels that I should “Suck it up and just do it”, then perhaps they shouldn’t read the posts of a real person, Mother, Wife, Pediatric Nurse Practitioner trying to fit all this into a real life. That’s all I got to say about that.

Oh, and by the way – I have lost 8 pounds. 

17 replies »

  1. congrats! I understand what u mean. I’m on my own weight loss journey and my mother makes the statement u haven’t lost very much u don’t really do anything. I’m like right now I don’t work full time as a nurse, cook dinner every night, hw with kid, after school programs, take care of animals and all the housework. ur right I can just work out every time and day I want.
    keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I lost fifty pounds fairly fast with diet change but I’ve stopped losing again. I have another fifty to lose. I seem to go through losing and then gaining and then stopping a lot. Right now, my thyroid is a problem which if it’s out of whack, you tend to not lose weight. So hoping I can get that under control. Don’t worry about what others think. This is all you. Your life. Your health. Focus on that. You can do this. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What the heck?! Fifty pounds, that is fabulous. I dream of being able to say that. I guess I am coming to terms with the fact that people who have not had to lose weight, just don’t get what a struggle it is. I think before all of this weight gain, I would see people who were really overweight and think to myself, why don’t they just lose the weight? Boy, Karma has come back to bite me in my rather large posterior.
      Thanks for visiting my little blog!!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • My family is a bit on the hefty side but my weight gain came about through meds prescribed to me. What I did was cut out red meats, eat less pasta and breads. I’ve tried diets they never work for me. Just changing what you eat helps. My doctor said diet is more important than exercise but that helps too. Though its hard to motivate me in the winter months. I’m thinking of joining a gym this summer.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 8 lbs! That’s awesome! And people are always going to snipe, that’s what people do. They’re usually talking to themselves, not you.

    Besides I thought the point of blogging a journey is to…blog the journey.

    After reading the other post about how they won’t give you your results (?!) I hesitate to ask, but have you talked to your doctor about how you get sick when you change your diet?

    This diet one sounds like a good pick!

    A to Z Challenge: Glue
    Isa-Lee Wolf
    A Bit 2 Read
    @IsaLeeWolf

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am probably super sensitive and so it is more my problem. About the results, I have tried and tried to get them, but to no avail. I can’t even get to talk to my doctor. All I wanted was a baseline, so I could see some kind of improvement as I went along on this journey. It is all so frustrating – boy if I didn’t call our clinic patients back on the same day, they would hunt me down.

      Liked by 1 person

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